


The Last Time

by URbeluvdmayuass



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, yunsang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/URbeluvdmayuass/pseuds/URbeluvdmayuass
Summary: "You said that it would last, but how come it's the last time?"YeoSang wished YunHo to be dead.He can't take the constant heartbreak.Be careful what you wish for.The AU credit goes to our beautiful Artiny @u_na244 on twitter.I thank them for sharing their beautiful yet angsty YunSang au.Don't forget to check their artwork outThe song used in this fic is "The last time" by The Script.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Kang Yeosang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The Last Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [u_na244](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=u_na244).



> Please tell me if you enjoyed the fic in the comments.
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Have a nice time reading it!!!!

“Why's it so hard to look me in the eye?”

YeoSang really never understood why.He can’t even remember the last time YunHo looked into his eyes while talking to him face to face.He really miss the other boy.Nowadays it seems like they are drifting away from each other.They don’t meet enough.They don’t talk enough.They are dragging on this relationship.It’s hurting them both.They need this pain to stop.They need to decide.Whether to stay or let go off each other.It’s time now.

“Playing with that cross that's on your chain”

YeoSang called YunHo, asking him if they could meet up.”Hello”, his voice sound hoarse from the other side.YeoSang is nervous, he has not heard him for a long time.He is fiddling with the necklace YunHo gifted him on their first anniversary.

YunHo received a call from an unknown number in the morning.He hardly got any sleep last night.Life is hard and living is tiring.He can barely breathe.He was the first one to greet the caller, there is no response.He is getting impatient now.He clearly stated,”Whoever you are.If you are not going to response then-”  
“It’s YeoSang speaking”, he was cut off.He is shocked.YeoSang called him nearly after six months.He don’t know how to response.He don’t know if he should response.It’s not like it’s the first time YeoSang tried to reach out him.He did it several time.He is always the first one to reach one.He is always the first one to make up.He is the one who have to understand.It’s never YunHo and he is tired of it.

“I know you only ever bite your lip”

“How are you doing?”,YeoSang asked, breaking the silence.  
“Ah- Yeah.I’m doing good.How about you?”,YunHo stuttered at first, he needed to get a grip on himself.  
“I am fine too.”

Silence is back again.They don’t know what they should say.At this point everything seems meaningless to them.A relationship is either going to end or mend today.

YeoSang is tired.He wants to see the other boy.He always reach out to him.He wants to see him.He wants to meet him.He always plans their meet up.But YunHo.He is never there.He doesn’t show up.YeoSang just waits.He keeps on waiting.He keeps on hoping.Is he the only one loving? Is he the only one hurting? What happened to them? Does YunHo not feel anything? Does YunHo not love him? YeoSang wants to cry.He is angry.He is in pain.He feels betrayed.He wants to cry, he wants to scream at the other boy from the phone.But he can’t.He needs to keep himself calmand composed.Deal with this like adults they are.  
Sometimes.Just sometimes.He wished the other boy was dead.  
It will be easier to deal with the grief of someone who can’t come back than to deal with the hope of someone who will never come back to him.

On the other hand.  
YunHo is guilty.He is guilty of keeping him away from the boy who loved him dearly.YunHo loves him too.He doesn’t want the other boy to get hurt for his reckless actions anymore.He doesn’t want the other boy to love him anymore.He is nothing but a broken glass he is going to hurt everyone else around him, including his beloved YeoSang.He doesn’t show up anymore.He feels sad for leaving him alone.He drinks alcohol to wash away his guilt, his pain, his sadness.He drinks to fill up the black hole inside him.He is always in alcohol induced euphoria which doesn’t lasts long.It only brings more pain, more guilt towards him.He misses the boy dearly.But he can’t go back to the way it was before.It’s too late.  
He wished that he’s dead.  
He doesn't have to deal with his dreadful life anymore.YeoSang doesn’t have to deal with him anymore.

“When it's something you're afraid to say”

YeoSang is afraid to hurt the other one.He thought he won’t have to say it directly to him like this, but the way this phone call is going.He doesn’t have much of a choice.  
He broke the silence.Again.”YunHo, we need to talk.”

YunHo saw that coming.He really expected this someday.He wants to let go of the boy for the sake of their sanity.But why? Why does it hurt so much?He mumbled a soft yeah.

YeoSang hurt the other boy.He wants to apologize.He wants to hug him.But he needs this to end.HE should stand strong.No matter how much he is hurting inside.No matter how much this sword like relationship is tearing him apart.He continued,”Today.At 7 pm in our usual place.”

“Yeah”,YunHo let out a shaky reply, he cleared his throat and continued,”Yeah I will be there.”

“Don’t be late.”

“Yeah I won’t.”

“I’m hanging up.Bye”

“Yeah bye.”

The call ended.

YeoSang broke down in tears.His entire body is shaking with pain.He didn’t stop himself and suppressed it.He let it all go down.He might feel better if he does.It’ll be better.Today is the day they should decide.If YunHo doesn’t show up today.He will break up.He will leave him.Forever.

YunHo collapsed back to his bed.Eyes burning, head throbbing, tears streaming down his face and chest hurting.It’s hard to breathe.He really wished for his death.He cried till exhaustion took over him.Sleep came to him as comfort.He hoped that he never had to wake up anymore.

“Is this the last time that I lay my eyes upon you?”

YunHo first saw YeoSang in the first year of their high school days.For a moment he thought he saw an angel.YeoSang first noticed YunHo when he was introducing himself at his first day of his new school.Their eyes locked.For moment everything around them froze, time stopped, it’s just them in silence.Teacher told YeoSang to sit beside him, then time changed, people changed, but those two always sat beside each other.They graduated together.They enrolled in different colleges, yet they lived together.Their small cold apartment felt like home.They realized it’s them who could only make it feel ,like home.  
They are in love.Crazy for each other.Hot blood running in their veins craving for each other.Days of youth and their young love.Happy days those were.Memory of those time now crashes on their loveless self.Makes their cheeks wet with tears and hurts their hearts.

“Is this the last time that I ever watch you leave?”

Suddenly everything fell apart.They lived together yet felt so lonely.They never talk with each other.They silently exist in the presence of each other.But as long as they are together, it’s supposed to be ok right?  
Right?  
NO it wasn’t.THose countless nights YeoSang slept alone hugging a pillow and crying because YunHo couldn’t make it home.Those countless days where YunHo would sit alone while staring at the chair in front of him because YeoSang is busy with his work.  
They lived together, yet they barely saw each other. They made themselves lonely.The drifted away.So far away.Like someone who is dead.

“This is the last thing I would ever have done to you.”

YunHo shifted away from their apartment, without a word with him.YeoSang understood his actions.He understood that the daily travelling from his home to office takes too much time, maybe that’s why to save himself from the exhaustion.He went away.It’s the first time in so many years that they left each other.It was hard at first.For YunHo as well as for YeoSang.  
YeoSang finally let go of that apartment.He moved to a different place.Far away from where the memories would torture him.  
YunHo thought this is the last thing he would ever do to the person he loved dearly.But he did it.He is living with the guilt of doing it first, letting go of YeoSang first.

“This is the last thing that I thought you'd do to me”

YeoSang was getting ready to meet YunHo.He is feeling sick.He can’t do this to YunHo.He can’t watch the smile on his face falter, he can’t see his sparkly eyes getting dull dull, he can’t bear the sight of the bright boy being dull.He can’t break up with him, he loved him too much to let him go.Forever.All his life YeoSang thought that letting go off the person he loved so much will be the last thing he would do, he thought that wishing death for the person he cherished all his life would be the last thing he would do.  
Fate made him stand himself here.He can’t put all the blame on him.He blames himself too.

“We said that it would last,” 

What happened to those promises they made? What happened to the dreams they once dreamed? What happened to them? What made them destroy their relationship they built for so many years? What made them hurt each other?  
YeoSang and YunHo are on their way to the place they are supposed to meet.  
Will this night be the end of their years of relationship?  
Or is there any hope for them?

“but how come it's the last time?”

Their steps grow heavy each time.Each minute it feels like years.Those years.Where they spend together?  
YunHo’s heart is growing heavy with pain.He is driving the car, he can’t focus on the road.He wished to be dead before this day would come to get him.  
YeoSang is hurting from the inside out.His shoulders are heavy, he can’t see clearly.He is just sitting there in the restaurant by the big window.Memories playing like a broken record in the back of his head.  
It started raining heavily.They both wished that this shower could wash away all the pain, all the sufferings, that had been holding inside of them.

“I'm tryna hold your hand but feeling like my hands tied”

YunHo didn’t notice the truck.It hit hit like once love did, fast and euphoric, but this time it was just painful.He really wanted to reach out to YeoSang.For one last time, for the sake of his love for him, for everything.But it feels like.He couldn’t make it.Not anymore.  
YeoSang waited.He waited for too long.It’s 10 pm now.There is no one in the restaurant.It’s over.YeoSang thought.YunHo would not show up anytime soon.He needs to let go of his hope.  
“I’m leaving”, YeoSang texted it to YunHo.He stood up and walked towards the counter.  
Something caught his ear. It's the news from the television,”Another case of DUI in Seoul.A drunk truck driver hit a car”,he sighed.”Victim is Jung YunHo currently fighting for his life in the city hospital.”  
The words struck him like thunderbolt.He ran.

He ran as fast as he could, rain hitting him like bullets, his heart is on fire, all he could remember of those times he wished YunHo to be dead,”I’m sorry”, it barely came out like a pathetic whisper.”I’m so sorry, please forgive me,I’m sorry,I’m sorry,I”M SORRY”, it grew louder, he started screaming at this point.He stopped and kneel down in front of the hospital.He can’t breathe, he is drenched wet in rain, he never noticed that he was crying.He got up and went inside hospital.  
“Jeong YunHo”  
“Yes.How may I help you?”  
“Jeong YunHo.The guy in road accident.I-I am his family”  
“He is on 4 th floor room 17.Mister you have to take the stairs the lift is not working.”

YeoSang climbed up the staircase.As fast as he could.

“You said we'd be forever, now you never ever be mine”

YeoSang needs him alive.He needs him alive and well.How dare he is to think that he could let him go?  
YeoSang can’t stay without YunHo.He needs to see the boy.  
He loved him too much.Too much that he could take all the pain and continue this relationship, he didn't even need them to go back like they were before.  
He just wants to see the boy.Please let him see the boy.The boy he cherished so much.

He increased his pace, he needed to reach him as soon as possible.He’d take the last step but he slipped.His shoes were wet.He slipped and fell down.He can’t remember how long he was there lying down at the base of the stairs case.He tried to get up but he couldn’t.He felt like he head YunHo’s voice.One last time before darkness swallowed his vision.

“You said that it would last, but how come it's the last time?”

YeoSang left a white rose in front of YunHo,”You know”,he said breaking the silence,”I adopted a puppy named YumYum, it’s a golden retriever, just l;ike you wanted.He is so cute and fluffy.Also he is 3 months old you know”, he smiled and looked up in front of him, maybe he was expecting a reply.It won’t be there.  
It’s been three years since YunHo passed away that night.YeoSang never saw the boy alive one last time.He visits YunHo’s grave every month, leaves flowers for him and spend there talking to himself.  
Today is that day too.  
YeoSang sighed and stood up,”I’ll get going YunHo, I’ll be here next month.”  
He turned back and started walking away.  
“We will meet again.Please wait for me.”  
He doesn't know why he said that.  
Deep down in his heart he knew that YunHo heard him.He always does.


End file.
